* In an effort to decide if Bobby Jindal really does sound like Kenneth the Page, I put together this video this morning. (Required viewing. Do not read further until you have completed this crucial task.)
* Candice’s employer blocks the blog. Not to worry, sweetheart. The blog will be migrating to the mothership soon. And if your boss blocks nbcchicago.com, you might as well quit.
* Yesterday, two Bulls greats died – Johnny “Red” Kerr and Norm Van Lier. And this morning, I was treated to the name Johnny “Red” Kerr – in its entirety – about 7,000 times. Not once was he referred to as “Kerr” or “Red.” Instead, he got the full four-syllable treatment from a chorus of coworkers.
“Hey, did you hear Johnny ‘Red’ Kerr died?”
“Yeah, I can’t believe that about Johnny ‘Red’ Kerr.”
“We should do a story about Johnny ‘Red’ Kerr.”
“Yes, I agree about Johnny ‘Red’ Kerr.”
“Boy, I have so many memories of Johnny ‘Red’ Kerr.”
“Yeah. Johnny ‘Red’ Kerr was a pretty impressive guy.”
For the love of God. Reminds me of the script one of our writers cranked out that referenced “Massachusetts Senator Edward ‘Ted’ Kennedy.” Who refers to him like that? (“Hello, Senator Edward ‘Ted’ Kennedy. Tell me about your brother, Assassinated President John F. ‘Jack’ ‘JFK’ Kennedy.”)
* Executive Producer Wendy and Highlander Producer Carol are starting a petition to bring back the short shorts of the 1970s NBA. Carol refers to them as “shawts.” If this came to fruition, it would be the worst thing ever.
* Times Square is being turned into a pedestrian mall. Good call. Last time I was there, so were the Jonas Brothers. It was like someone had triggered a preteen girl avalanche. Cars were trying to plow through the bubblegum pink crowd to no avail.
* The going rate for two human children is one cockatoo and $175. That’s also how much it will cost to ride the CTA when it comes time to fill the budget gap.
* Overheard this morning: “I can feel it scrubbing out my colon now.”
A comedic black hole.
* “American Idol” seems pretty lame this year. So few people are worth watching. Then there’s goofball idiot Norman Gentle/Nick Mitchell. Thankfully, he got voted off last night. I hated that clown. He thought he was funny in that drag queen way, where if he was loud enough and vulgar enough, he assumed people would laugh. He was like the hideous offspring of a prop comic and a child rapist.
* Chicago plans to $10.5 million to come up with an Olympic mascot. How about a robot? Cool. Glad you like it. Make the check out to “Ben Bowman.”
* Your buttocks’ desire for soft toilet paper is killing planet Earth. If you really want to save the planet, let ‘er air dry.
* Samuel L. Jackson is about to sign up for nine superhero movies. NINE? And yet, no “Snakes on a Plane” sequel. Sad.
* Higgins the baboon loves HDTV, specifically “Little House on the Prairie” and “Walker, Texas Ranger.” I am not making that up. (Damn, I want a monkey.)
* Viewer Hate Mail!
I watch NBC news every morning and in my opinion you should pink slip the following !
Wiggles I don’t know his name but he the one who thinks he can dance he should be replaced with the HOT SARAH JINDRA she does a better job explaining the traffic report !!!!
Serita just show her face and not anything from the neck down, she has skinny legs and NO CHEST !
ROB- I think he is a GIRL !!
Andy Jobo being he is so cheep the man comes out of his home with less then two dollars in his pocket, I do not trust someone like that. REPLACE HIM WITH GINGER ZEE !!!!!!!
GINGER ZEE IS HOT AND SMART !!!!!
I agree that Ginger is hot and smart. Beyond that, this guy is on his own. This is why I pay no attention to viewer e-mail. The only difference between this idiot and the pot heads from Wednesday is his affinity for the caps lock key.
* Be careful if you go on a national reality show. You could end up like Stephen Fowler. Observe his jackassery here.
Ben's Breakfast Blog 