Here are some highlights from the NBC5 morning show…
First, my on-air rant against the evils of on-air weather hype.
Rob and Zoraida thought it was pretty funny killing my prompter, so here’s how I got them back the next morning.
After all that, I decided to give up and attempt to terrify the viewer anytime it snowed.
Determined to outdo Snopocalypse ’08, I came up with Snowmageddon ’09.
One morning, the creepy villain from the “Saw” movies called the studio.
We went ghost hunting for Halloween. Here’s a terrifying tale I told Rob. He was scared the rest of the night.
And here’s the end result of our ghost hunt. I still can’t make out what Rob heard on his phone.
That story aired on Halloween, when we also murdered three people on the air and chopped off our meteorologist’s head.
Anybody else creeped out by the Burger King? How about a shirtless, seductive Burger King?
When Dick Johnson fills in, I like to use his booming voice to read really insane stuff, like the story about The Butt Bandit of Valentine, Nebraska.
To end this show, we had buckets of sexy news, including 101 straight days of intercourse, bikinis and 16,500 condoms. (Listen to the unveiled disgust in Zoriada’s voice as she reads the last line of the last story.)
Earthquake drill! You can never be too careful.
Surprisingly, Zoraida and her daughter were not too excited about eating chocolate-covered insects. But I man up and take one for the team.
Zoraida wouldn’t let her kid eat supercharged caffeine gum, either. It would have made great TV…
I love stories about stupid people. This one takes the cake.
When NBC5 recruited me to work the 4:30 a.m. show, it was originally a news/comedy hybrid called “Barely Today.” This was our enduring legacy.
A year later, after the format had changed, I went to the well again.