* Here’s how little news was out there this morning: I ran this video of a kitten eating a graham cracker just to kill time.
* Yesterday, I came in to work for a 4 p.m. meeting only to see a phalanx of people answering the phones on our set. It was part of our Credit Crunch money advice stunt. One of the people working the phones was Attorney General Lisa Madigan, who I am told travels with her own entourage. Seeing all the people answering phones, it looked like a high-stakes PBS telethon.
* I am not sure whether to be tempted or terrified by “The Bacon Explosion.” It’s two pounds of bacon woven through and around two pounds of sausage and slathered in barbecue sauce. I’ll get around to tasting it right after I fill out my last will and testament.
* Highlander Producer Carol and Arch Nemesis Producer Jim were gone this morning. I assume it is some sort of plot to have me produce all two and a half hours of morning news. Thankfully, we had our substitutes ready to roll. If I’m ever forced to fill two and a half hours, I’m just gonna air a DVD of “The Godfather” and let the chips fall where they may.
* Chipotle is among the top five places to meet the guy of your dreams. Specifically the one at State and Division. It draws me like a moth to flame.
* This is a special kind of sickness: An 18-year-old guy poses as a girl on Facebook, gets teenage boys to send “her” pictures of them naked, then threatens to release the photos unless the boys provide sexual favors. What’s worse, the guy duped 31 kids into sending in nude pictures. 31! I don’t know whether to be more disgusted by the culprit or horrified that 31 boys were stupid enough to send naked pictures of themselves to a stranger.
* Have I mentioned it was a slow news day? The story landscape is so barren, CNN.com is resorting to articles about the ethics of pushing Girl Scout cookies on your coworkers.
* The slow news day continues as a pair of Red Eye reporters debate the merits of the Snuggie – that stupid blanket with arms. Rewatching that commercial, I am reminded how much I hate this thing. And if I ever see a family wearing these things at a sporting event, I will punch each of them in the face.
* Nicole, what would Brian think?
* I don’t know if I accurately conveyed this, but it is a slow news day. The Trib was so desperate for news, they sent a reporter to eat five free Grand Slam breakfasts at Denny’s yesterday. Why can’t I get those kinds of assignments? Seriously, I want the news desk to send me out to eat five different deep-dish pizzas to declare one winner.
* It would cost $15,602,022,489,829,821,422,840,226.94 to build the Death Star. Planet-destroying laser and stormtrooper staffing not included.
* This is fairly genius: A Florida radio station is staging something called Careeroki, where job seekers have to sing along to a parody of a famous song. The winner(s) will get a scholarship and help landing a job. Most of the submissions are truly awful, like this woman, doing the worst version of “Baby Got Back” you may ever hear…
* In the near future, the blog will be moving to the mothership – NBCChicago.com. Don’t worry, I’ll leave the URL here so you won’t get lost. This will be the blog’s third move. The web czars suggest a new name. (“Ben’s Breakfast Blog” was never my idea in the first place.) Leave your suggestions below.