Super Bowl Recap!


* The Steelers were victorious.  Huzzah!

What a great game.  Big defensive plays, big offensive plays, the winning score with less than a minute to go.  It was awesome.  Totally worth me taking a day off work to hang with my Michigan crew.  Larry Fitzgerald is a beast.  That catch in the end zone was uncanny like an X-Man.  Or maybe he’s a Jedi.  Either way, I was impressed.  Of course, Santonio Holmes one-upped him with that tiptoe catch in triple coverage.  Just a fantastic game.

It was so much fun, I managed to forget I have to reapply for my job, until my eyes drifted to the NBC peacock in the corner of the screen.  Then my eyes filled with tears.  The Terrible Towel soaked them up like a ShamWow.

* Jennifer Hudson’s anthem was good, but hardly great.  I heard someone saying it was the best ever.  To that guy, I point to a pre-crack Whitney Houston, whose anthem was beyond reproach.  Both ladies lip synched, so I issue demerits.

* This whole “best ever” business grates on me.  Every year, people say something about the Super Bowl was “the best ever.”  A lot of people are calling this one the best Super Bowl ever.  It may be worthy, but we need time to sort that out.  norwoodLast year’s had the weight of a possible undefeated season hanging on it, plus that insane Eli-escaping-and-throwing-to-David-Tyree’s-helmet play.  The Rams-Titans Super Bowl was awesome.  So was the Broncos-Packers showdown.  For my money, the best Super Bowl was the one Whitney sang for – Super Bowl XXV.  You had the flashy, high-powered Buffalo Bills against the grind-it-out Giants.  And it ended on that Scott Norwood missed kick.  Oh, and you had a backup quarterback – Jeff Hostetler – facing incredible pressure.  I loved that game.

* When it comes to commercials, my favorite was also the winner of the USA Today ad meter – the Doritos snow globe spot.  Not a huge fan of crotch trauma, but throwing it through the vending machine was cool.  I also liked the Miller High Life one-second ad.  (“High Life!”)

I don’t get why everyone goes nuts for the commercials with animals in them.  The Budweiser Clydesdales annoy me.  And the stupid Sobe lizards feel like a retread of the Budweiser frogs, but creepier.  This year, the game featured several commercials in 3-D, so we gave them a shot…


But the 3-D was annoying.  It didn’t really work too well.  I just kept thinking if I wanted to see something off-color and blurry, I’d just shove a fistful of Kool-Aid dust in my eyes.

Best Ever Super Bowl ad?  Terrible Terry Tate…

* Halftime was a total letdown.  Bruce Springsteen has some fantastic songs, but his playlist was whack.  DO NOT play the song off your new album at the Super Bowl halftime show.  We want the classics.   He played just four songs and only two (“Born to Run” and “Glory Days”) were even worth a momentary listen.

It would be one thing if it were just a lame performance, but then we also had to suffer the indignity of getting a face-first view of Bruce’s crotch flying at us.  Thank God that part wasn’t 3-D.


As halftimes go, I think Prince totally killed it two years ago. Mixing his own hits with Hendrix and the Foo Fighters… and playing “Purple Rain” IN THE RAIN?  That’s awesome.  U2 also hit a home run in 2002.

* Now that the playoffs are over, I go back to rooting for the Lions.  When they fail to make the playoffs again, I will pick up the Steelers as my backup team.  Hard to repeat as champion, though.  I like the Ravens to win, depending on the whole free agent situation.

* Slate offers 43 observations on the Super Bowl. Amusing.

* CBS is rolling out a reality show about arranged marriages.

CB101841The show introduces four adults age approximately 25-45 who are anxious to get married but have been unsuccessful in their search for a mate. Their friends and family select a spouse for them, and the newly paired couple exchange marital vows. The series follows their marriages.

I suppose they’re not still casting.  Drat.

* Human-animal clones don’t work.  Dr. Moreau unavailable for comment.

* Did you hear the one about the woman who donated a kidney through her vagina? (Dirty joke or real medical procedure?  You decide.)

shaving_face* Speaking of dirty jokes, I previously suggested we might be able to court viewers with a series on “manscaping.”  Today Wendy looked at me skeptically.  Apparently, Matt Rodewald told her “manscaping” means something dirty.  I said, “Wendy, it just refers to grooming.  It’s not like guys are making topiaries out of their pubic hair.”  (Although I’m sure that would be a real ratings grabber.)

* Speaking of Matt (hereafter referred to as “The Father of All Lies”), he’s started his own blog on This means war.

* currently features an upcoming event called “Stitch ‘n’ Bitch.”  So now it’s okay to use the word “bitch” on our website.  Add that to “ass” from a few weeks ago and our site is becoming pretty saucy.

* TV increases the risk of depression. Especially when it’s your career and you have to reapply for your own job.  (I kid because I love, Content Center.)

* A new blog chronicles the woes of being married to bankers and Wall Street hotshots during the recesssion.  I say if you marry a soulless banker, you get what you deserve.  One commenter calls these women “an imploding caste of spoiled harpies,” which I find highly amusing.

* Your choice of mate determines your health. No mate, no health?  Sounds about right.

survivor* Once the Great NBC Purge of ’09 is over, those remaining may experience “survivor’s guilt.” Except Arch Nemesis Producer Jim.  When I’m out on the street, he’ll probably grow a mustache just so he can twist it and laugh.

* Drew Peterson’s fiancée was never his fiancée. But she still moved into his house.  The cops helped her move out.  Drew now refers to her as “the one that got away.”  (Ominous.  ALLEGEDLY!)

* Speaking of woman-hating psychopaths (ALLEGEDLY!), there’s this guy who bought his girl breast implants, then tried to cut them out of her when they broke up.   Listen, man.  If you love something, set it free.  And I don’t know how you can’t love breast augmentation.

7 responses to “Super Bowl Recap!

  1. I’m a fan of your blog, but I’m NOT a fan of Springsteen, so I didn’t watch the halftime show…however, I thought I read that he DID play “Born to Run”….

  2. Ben,

    This is my first official blog comment! (Buy me some coffee tomorrow).

    I was going to stay mute here, but I just can’t help it.

    My morning was going great. Just ate. Feeling rested. Excited to log on to see the blog. And then I almost puked up my breakfast.

    Two things:

    First….. YOU’RE WEARING A STEELER’S JERSEY?????? With pride? Are you kidding?

    This coming from the guy who rips on anyone he can, yet is such a fair weather Lion’s fan he actually owns another team’s jersey?

    I’m disgusted. I’m disappointed. I’m sure one or two Bear’s fans might own another team’s jersey. And if they do, it’s an old Packer’s McMahon jersey stuffed in the closet.

    Anyway, I pity you as a Lion’s fan. But I will never respect you as a sports fan again.

    Oh…. point two:

    There were GIRLS at your party. The wonderful gender you claim is unattainable. GIRLS! I’m not sure what to believe anymore.

    Signed confused,

  3. Don’t worry Ben – you’re dedicated fan base of blog readers will never leave you for Matt’s blog!

  4. Heading over to Matts blog….let you know what I think

  5. You have nothing to fear….he doesn’t want any part of the great…Bowman

    ps…liked the caption this morning “bald guy with pony tail

  6. Rob – Some of the girls who read this blog literally throw themselves at Ben in their comments and he doesn’t do anything. I think he has commitment issues – may need a session with Dr. Berman. (LOL)

  7. I’d like to thank Rob and Jakki for backing me up on this whole “Ben can’t get a date” issue. I’ve been harping on Ben about this since early January. Like so many other single, 30-something men I know, Ben appears oblivious to the women around him.

    Ben, maybe you should try organizing that blog reader field trip. Perhaps the ladies from Gurnee could make it this time. If not, I’m sure some of your other groupies would make an effort to get out there. ;-)

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