* Now, two of my greatest triumphs. First, a little jab at the weather hype establishment…
And one of the weirdest stories of the year, something that made Zoraida laugh so hard she cried…
* Thanks to an overwhelming stack of computer problems, I was forced to call tech support in India this morning. 55 minutes later, my computer works a little better, but it still has issues. On the plus side, my new friend Mohammed suggested I come to India to see the Taj Mahal and Southern India. I was kind enough not to bring up the whole Mumbai thing.
* Kristen asked if I Twitter. No, Kristen. I don’t. I blog for 1-2 hours every morning. Is that not enough for you?
* We finally got all the producers back from vacation. But now Zoraida’s gone. I will be happy when we’re all back in our normal places. When even one of us is gone, it creates friction.
* I can’t find a link for this, but you’ll have to take my word for it. Applications are pouring in at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel in Carson City, Nevada. The owner says he’s gotten 1,500 resumes in December alone. Apparently more women are turning to that to make ends meet. Which is kind of awesome and kind of sad. What’s the interview process like in that line of work? (“Who do you see yourself sleeping with in five years?”)
In related news, I’ve got a crisp $20 bill here for anyone willing to go on a date with me. Anybody? Crisp twenty. I’ll wait…
* How comfortable is too comfortable around your lover? Chicagoan Jessica Odenbach, 27, thinks her boyfriend’s upbringing in a large family explains why he’ll pop pimples, blow “snot rockets” and discuss bowel movements in front of her despite her obvious discomfort. I think the news of a 27-year-old woman dating a caveman like this makes my futile attempts at romance seem all the more depressing. Is that it, ladies? You want me to start spewing things from my openings?
* Mexico’s Grand Warlock predicts the United States will try to annex part of his country in 2009. No offense, Mr. Warlock, but we’ve got enough problems in our own country without grabbing a chunk of yours.
* Science says: Love can last a lifetime. (Fine print: For 10% of couples)
* Bon Jovi will help Hillary Clinton pay off her campaign debt. I don’t get it. When it became obvious Hillary couldn’t win, she kept hammering away, using her own cash to fund her campaign. It seemed vindictive, somehow. She knew she couldn’t win. But she kept at it. I don’t mind if that’s how she wants to spend her own money, but she shouldn’t expect anyone to pay her back. That reminds me. I’ve got this crisp $20 bill, Hillary. You can have it. But you should know I’m a little grabby.