* Jesse Jackson Jr. is Candidate #5. The Governor claims Candidate #5 was willing to give him money for the open Senate seat. But the Feds say Jackson hasn’t been charged with any wrongdoing. Still, I wouldn’t want to be mentioned in the same sentence as the Governor these days. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.
* I watched the Charlie Brown Christmas special on Monday. It’s a lot darker than I remembered. Charlie Brown is essentially on suicide watch the whole time. Poor guy.
* Art Norman filled in for Rob Elgas today. Art is essentially the Mayor of NBC5. The man knows everybody. And his laugh is hysterical. I should pay him to follow me around and laugh at my jokes. He’s like an instant Ed McMahon-ish sidekick.
* Men who spend the most money have hooked up with the most girls, and want to nail the most girls in the future. Why do I hear Kanye West’s “Gold Digger” running through my head?
* Good: Girls strip down for a tawdry bath…
Bad: … in a sink at KFC.
* Sorry, victim of domestic assault with blood running down your face, this tow truck driver is immune to your pleas.
* Nearly half of all men and one-third of women have lied about what they have read to try to impress friends or potential partners. You know what I’ve noticed? Every woman in the city of Chicago has read “Eat, Pray, Love” and “Devil in the White City.” It’s spooky.
* I’ve been tempted to tell Jennifer Aniston to shut up about all her Brangelina bashing, but then I saw her on the cover of the newest GQ and my disgust vanished. Hubba hubba.
* Time Magaine counts down the 10 Most Awkward Moments of 2008. Number 1 is President Bush tap dancing while waiting around for John McCain…
The Great Sarah Palin Turkey Massacre is only #7?
Thank God for year-end lists. They save us when all the news dries up. I mean, beyond this Blagojevich thing, we’ve got nothing going on. At some point, you have to put something in your show other than the Gov., so it’s nice to have this stuff out there.
* The #1 oddball news story is the pregnant man. Really? You’re not a man if you have a vagina and a uterus. Just sayin’.
* M. Night Shyamalan readies his next disappointment. Will it include lots of whispering and a lame twist ending? I sure hope so.
* The internet has become unbearably slow, so I shall abandon this entry for the greener pastures of Dreamland.