* Hey, Mr. Governor.
I hope you like your present. Go ahead. Open it.
It’s the presumption of innocence!
Just kidding. They were all out of that.
Hey, remember when you held the CTA hostage and jacked up our sales tax so old people can ride for free? Yeah, that was fun. I will remember it fondly as I walk around enjoying my total lack of incarceration.
Anyway, Happy Birthday!
* The YouTube tirade is past 14,000 views. That includes viewers in Peru, Luxembourg, the United Arab Emirates, South Africa and China. The revolution was televised, and now it’s viral.
* If you go to Chuck E. Cheese, you WILL get into a fight with another adult.
* Joe the Plumber says John McCain “appalled” him. Kinda like how I’m appalled we’re still talking about this clown. Go unclog a sink.
* Fran Drescher wants Hillary Clinton’s Senate seat. Yes. That Fran Drescher.
* Weight loss is easier when we get paid for it. Good to know, huh?
* Vultures descend on Florida! Not to worry; they’ll be back circling the governor’s mansion in no time.
* Looking for a Christmas gift for that hard-to-buy-for hoochie? How about a gift certificate toward an abortion?
* I’d write more today, but I’m in the midst of a fairly severe allergic reaction. I need to go home and pray for death.