Also too… killing turkeys behind me

* And now, your potential Vice President gives an interview in front of several turkeys being slaughtered…

The photographer told her what was going on behind her, but she allowed the interview to continue.  Maverick!

* Zoraida refused to read that story when it was assigned to her.  Maverickier!

* Remember Wednesday’s news explosion?  Today was the price we paid for that.  Not a story in sight.  I lobbied to put our only reporter on the colossal collapse of our economy.  Instead, we sent her to cover 6″ of snow in Bumwad, Indiana.  As I write this, the truck is broken down or something.  Kim has missed three live shots.  News karma?

* This story plays out like “Stand By Me” if it were a porn flick: Three buddies head to a graveyard to dig up a 20-year-old motorcycle crash victim to have sex with her body.  Don’t worry… they had condoms.  (Mugshots included in the story.)

detroit_lions_logo* Newsflash: The only thing that sucks worse than Detroit’s auto industry is their football team.  I can’t remember the last time I was able to cheer for the Lions.  Probably Barry Sanders’ last game.  What an awful, awful team.  I’ve adopted the Steelers until Detroit is capable of posting a winning record.

* I spoke to a source at the station where that TV news intern went nuts (see yesterday’s blog). 

“She had only been with us about three or four weeks.  She told one crew when she rode along that she couldn’t understand why the station had yet to put her on air.  She told another crew that after her internship was done she would be hired as a reporter here for sure.  She was CLUELESS.  Off her rocker.” 

twilight_bigteaserposter* That vampire movie that all the kids are geeked about came out at midnight.  The tape we got of people leaving the theater had a surprising number of viewers trashing it.  I have to say, I’m totally out of the loop on this “Twilight” phenomenon.  To me, it just looks like every other vampire movie/TV show ever.  But I’m sure it blows.  I don’t need to spend $10 to find that out.

* Canada’s Supreme Court says obese people have the right to two seats on an airplane.  The majority opinion was written by Justice Fatty McGravyslurper.

* On the other end of the spectrum, researchers say skinny models are a turn-off in advertising.  Depends on how skinny.  When I see Kate Moss advertising something, I think, “Maybe it’s time to buy some Halloween decorations.”

bonaduce_cut_400* The Mounties are investigating a Facebook group over “Kick a Ginger Day.”  (Ginger = redhead)  Boys and girls, you do not want to kick a redhead.  It will only make us mad.  And we fight dirty.  We don’t stop until you lose consciousness.  Just sayin’.

* Dubious Study! The trashier your neighborhood, the worse people will behave in it.  Probably true.  My apartment is a rathole and I just lie around sending hateful notes to rival news anchors.

* Traffic Maven Austin clued us in to this video of world leaders refusing to shake President Bush’s hand.  (Try to ignore epic CNN windbag Rick Sanchez.)

Say what you will about President Bush, but he’s still the President of the United States.  He at least deserves a low five.  Thankfully, no one pulled the old “up high, down low, too slow” maneuver.

2 responses to “Also too… killing turkeys behind me

  1. I just realized I always read your blog, and never comment. And that’s what people do to me and it sucks.

    Anyway, your blog is great. Full of MUCH more interesting news than what you’re allowed to show on TV. Great writing style (i.e. wonderfully sarcastic and snarky and with just the right amount of smart a$$ thrown in)

    Check out my blog, leave a comment if you stop by. You’ll see why I couldn’t write my name. Oh, it’s safe for work. Safer than your blog probably!

  2. i’m not sure stories 1 or 2 are suitable for a blog with ‘breakfast’ in the title. i’m just saying.

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