The Sex Book Scandal

* I am exhausted.  All I have done since last week Tuesday when we went ghost hunting is sleep, eat, improvise and work.  Arch Nemesis Producer Jim called in sick today.  Well played, Arch Nemesis Producer Jim.  Well played.

I strongly considered a blog sabbatical so I can get some sleep and return to the realm of the living, but then what would you read today?

sex3* NBC5 sex and relationships expert Dr. Laura Berman has a new book she’s going to hype on the air tomorrow.  Inside are all kinds of full-color pictures of a couple gettin’ it on.  The back is jam-packed with possible positions, including one called “The Merry-Go-Round” and another called “The Figure 8.” 

I haven’t really seen this book, except in other people’s hands.  Today, at least five of our female staffers gathered around, flipped through and started an incredibly disturbing conversation.  I will just provide snippets of some of the things I heard today…

“I’m loud.”

“Not enough thrusting.”

And most upsettingly… “I’m gonna build a sex lair in my basement.”

* Here are 35 great pictures of the Obama campaign.  I love good photography.  Especially what I saw in that Dr. Berman book.

* The BBC offers an analysis of why McCain lost.  I think the death knell was when he tried to throw the same tactics at Obama that led to his own defeat in the 2000 Republican primaries.

* 51% of voters think reporters tried to help Obama win the presidency.  On Fox News Channel, that number was more like -7000%.

f* Speaking of Fox, it appears the network is trying to get the F-word on television.  Hope it works.  It’s hard for me to write news scripts without it.

* The Daily Mail asks why women have tramp stamps.  Because they got drunk on spring break, I imagine.

* The Daily Herald cites some of the weird things people keep in the trunks of their cars.  (“Trunks” = “boots” in England.)  The list includes a 13′ trampoline, hundreds of bags of mints and a stag’s skull complete with antlers.

* I have had a lot of trouble motivating myself to run lately.  And then it hit me.  I know why.  I don’t have a rabid fox clamped on my arm.

* World-class moron and former NFL QB Ryan Leaf has been placed on administrative leave from his job at West Texas A&M, presumably for being a world-class moron.

* In the 5 a.m. show, Kim talked about Obama’s White House staff and how he’ll have to fill 100 positions.

“100 positions?” I said.  “Sounds like that sex book.”

* Out of sheer boredom, here are 16 potential names of sex positions.   Feel free to use any of them to label your signature moves…

sex1+ Goat Dangling
+ The Dizzy Dwarf
+ Melon-Balling
+ The Hoopty-Doo
+ The Ol’ Pump ‘n’ Juggle
+ Raccoon Biting
+ The Pencil Sharpener
+ Three Knees and a Knuckle
+ Frankenberry Chokehold
+ The Lefty Bend
+ Road Rash
+ Marble Mouth
+ The Lazy Eye
+ The Jacques Cousteau
+ The Gargling Chinchilla
+ Rubik’s Lube

2 responses to “The Sex Book Scandal

  1. Hell!!! I could not stop laughing. the visuals in my head from the positions is too much

  2. it seems like people assume Ryan Leaf is going to screw up before it actually happens… but i guess this is mostly his own doing

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