* The newsroom bathrooms are still out of commission. This is getting ridiculous. Today I got so fed up with taking an elevator to relieve myself, I just urinated in the construction cone blocking the men’s room.
* The Associated Press wires have been down in our newsroom for at least 20 hours. I’m hoping no one noticed that all the news in today’s show came from no later than 11 a.m. yesterday.
* Nice to know in these tough economic times, we’re going to have to pay at least $880 to get a clear view of Obama for our election night coverage…
* Meanwhile, the RNC has spent more than $150,000 to clothe and accessorize VP candidate Sarah Palin and her family since McCain picked her in late August. Did she not have clothes before? What are these accessories? Bejeweled harmonicas?
* Rob clued me in to Lil’ O’Reilly today. Somehow, that screaming little kid made more valid points in that short clip than the Fox News clown he’s imitating makes in a month.
* “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”
“No, but I have to meet Beyonce on a bridge in New York.”
* 35% of Britons share a bath “to save water and energy.” Riiiiiight. (“Don’t come in here, kids. Mommy and Daddy are… uh… “saving water and energy.”)
* Female spiders who eat would-be suitors produce more babies, and those babies are stronger and bigger. I assume there’s a similar correlation for women who eat all that was once good and hopeful in me.
* Tough times at Playboy: The magazine is cutting overtime, travel and entertainment. Really? Entertainment? So, what, the mansion will only be able to afford twodozen jacuzzis filled with naked chicks?
* NBC5 News Director Chris Peña expresses dismay that he’s only been mentioned once in this blog. Here’s how this works, boss: You bribe me with food (preferably pizza) you get a blog name drop. The fact that I have to search for a tilde means you should throw in some breadsticks.
* Scientists say doing five simple things a day will keep you sane.
4. Weep openly over failed love life.
5. Eat more.
* Last night, I ventured to the AMC River East (a.k.a. my home away from home) to see a preview screening of the upcoming Kevin Smith comedy, “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.” If you like Kevin Smith, you’ll like the movie. But if you’re not familiar with his work, it will likely scar you.
Seth Rogen is undeniably likable, and Elizabeth Banks really rises above the material. But I think Smith goes for the easy gag too often. There is a ridiculous amount of nudity in the film, but you might expect that from the title. Ultimately, it’s a very sweet, predictable love story floating in a sea of flesh and four-letter words.
I like Kevin Smith the person far more than I like his movies. This is the third time I’ve seen him in person. He is humble, intelligent and very funny. How many Hollywood directors would come to Chicago to stick around after a screening of their film to answer an hour and a half of audience questions? I laughed more during his Q&A than I did during his movie. Odd phenomenon, that.
During one scene in the film, a character utters an off-color comment Smith once attributed to Sylvester Stallone. I asked him if any other moments in the movie were taken from real life. He reported the most horrifying thing in the movie (something so stomach-turning, I can’t even write about it) actually happened to “Men in Black” director Barry Sonnenfeld during his apprenticeship. When this thing happens to a character in the movie, the audience laughed well into the next scene. It was… chilling.
Smith went on to tell stories about Ben Affleck spending Thanksgiving with Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, his daughter’s affinity for “High School Musical,” and a toilet that broke under his own weight. Kevin Smith is a geek. It is good to see one of my kind racking up an impressive resume.
“Zack and Miri” lies below “Clerks” and “Chasing Amy” in the Smith resume, but it’s probably his best film in the last decade. (Just be forewarned, it’s really, really, really dirty.)