Slump Buster!

* Heads up: goes away as of Monday.  Bookmark so you can find me then.  I’ll give you the new URL once we’re settled at

* Just an awful morning.  Let me count the ways…

The White Sox lost.  The Cubs lost, and are teetering on elimination.  The VP debate was predictably awkward, but not the train wreck I was hoping for.  Rob was gone, but I’d forgotten this until way late… setting up a domino chain of errors.

Oh, and I didn’t get a Sunrise Sports package on one of the biggest “morning afters” in Chicago sports history.  (Saint Daryl had already been demoted to Mortal Daryl, and I didn’t want to demote him beyond that.)  Just as I was about to spew molten lava upon this blog, Paula Faris called to let me know she’d left a Cubs package just for us.  The morning seemed to be looking up.  (Thank you, Saint Paula.)

But Paula didn’t know that Dick was filling in for Rob.  So on her package, she tossed to “Rob and Zoraida.”  This might have been caught earlier, had we remembered Dick was in.  As it was, the error ran on the air.

Now, given the absurd level of suck that today was generating, I felt it was time for a good old fashioned “slump buster.”  Sports teams on a losing streak will frequently change up anything and everything to bust out of a slump.  The White Sox did it earlier this year.

So in my show, we had Dick in for Rob, we put Zoraida in Rob’s usual chair, and we had Dick run over to the green screen during weather to pinch-hit for Andy during the 5-day forecast.  Whenever we’d announce a change, we’d flash a graphic on the screen that said “SLUMP BUSTER!”

This would have made the day awesome, but continued technical glitches and stupid mistakes conspired to make my half-hour one of the sloppiest I’ve ever been involved with.  Seems our slump buster was more of a slump generator.

That said, if my changes today result in victories for the Cubs or White Sox this weekend, I’m totally taking credit.

* Back to the VP debate for a sec… It seemed pretty lopsided to me.  (Allow me to shed my NBC5 impartial journalist hat for a minute.)  Sarah Palin seemed to dodge most of the questions, only to “aw shucks” it up and revert to her talking points.  Joe Biden may not have been electric, but at least he answered the questions.  And he provided specifics.

If today’s show were the debate, I’d ask one of the people responsible for one of the many errors what went wrong.  And he/she would just look back at me and say, “Ya know, I’m just a maverick.”  And that would have to suffice.

I am an independent voter.  I have been waiting patiently to get some specifics so I can cast my vote intelligently.  But if a candidate of either party stares glassy-eyed into the camera and tries to snowball me, I will vote for their opponent.  At this point, I will give credit to someone I disagree with, so long as he/she takes a stand.

* I am beyond exhausted, dear viewer.  Part of me wants to walk out of this newsroom now so I can head back to Michigan for a special event weekend.  But there is much to blog.  I WILL NOT ABANDON YOU!

* Blind Item! “I’m on drugs.”

* Diet Coke kills sperm.  So, ya know, give your kid a can on prom night.

* Adventures in flammability: Cigarette + fireworks = hilarity

* Give McCain, Palin, Biden and Obama credit on this one.  At least they haven’t flipped out and punched a journalist when the questions got too hard.

* “Give me sex.”
(Bang.)  “Now can I have some?”

* “Women are weapons-grade haters.”

* FYI: Next week there will be “rioting in the streets and martial law.” Oh, and President Bush will stay in office indefinitely.

* McCain gives up on Michigan.  Funny.  So did I when I moved to Chicago four years ago.  Lovely state, awful economy.

* Whether you’re a Republican or Democrat, we can all agree: nobody wants “battered testicles.”

* Congratulations to this 7-year-old Australian boy on winning the Most Likely to Grow Up and Kill Us All prize.

* And since today sucked so incredibly, here’s the most upsetting story of the day.  Nice to know someone’s thinking about the worst case scenario, but yikes…

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