* Can I just say I hate the font on this blog?
* Today was a fairly easy shift. We’re running off the fumes of the flood, and the economy stories (while boring and dense) are strong.
Also Daryl Hawks (hereafter referred to as Saint Daryl) left us a sports package 3:20 long. Did we really need to spend 45 seconds on the New York groundskeepers doing the YMCA dance? No. But it’s less work for me. God bless St. Daryl. (Among his miracles are chewing up airtime and the power of flight.)
* Linking that video of St. Daryl in flight makes me wonder why we don’t have embeddable video. It’s 2008. No one wants to follow a link to watch a video.
* Andy will be doing his weather forecast from the Davis Street train station in Evanston on Friday. I asked Rob and Zoraida to ad lib about this briefly while tossing to weather in my second segment. Here’s how my second segment began…
Zoraida: “What’s that?”
Rob: “The moon.”
Zoraida: “No. To the right of the moon.”
Rob: “That’s the Wrigley building. It’s lit up – red, white and green.”
Zoraida: “Yes, for Mexican Independence Day.”
(12 minutes later)
Zoraida: “Is there a bunch of mold in the air or what?”
Andy: “Yeah, it’s mold season.”
Rob: “Mold, huh?”
(5 minutes later)
Andy: “Well, today’s going to be a beautiful day with highs in the seven…”
Zoraida: (panicky) “You’regonnabeatthetrainstationFriday!”
* Forbes Magazine calls Chicago the most stressful city in the United States. Then again, that ranking may be skewed because they only surveyed me. They asked me if I was seeing anybody and I just broke down, spilling the pitiful details of my social life.
* Beer + cigarette + moving train = near death. Better luck next time, train.
* Let’s hear it for the 33-year-old mom who stole her daughter’s identity to relive high school. Wendy Brown actually made the cheerleading team… which doesn’t speak well for the students who didn’t make the cut.
“In school you see a lot of children who look older and dress older,” said Don Penza, liaison officer. “At what point do you say, ‘You’re lying.'”
Gee, I don’t know. Maybe around the time you see a 33-year-old woman in a high school cheerleading outfit?
A student gave a great quote in yesterday’s Today Show story about this woman: “She just didn’t look like us. She had wrinkles and stretch marks.”
Come to think of it, so did the cheerleaders at my school. I grew up in a homely district.
* Beer + camera + moving train = another near death. Come on, train! Focus!
* Researchers say social isolation makes people feel cold, which would explain why my teeth have been chattering since about 1993.
* “Honey? Can you do the dishes?”
“I don’t feel like it, babe.”
“Okay, I’m just gonna bite your shoulder, break a picture frame over your face and swing a 2-foot sword at you.”
* Next time you think your job sucks, be glad you’re not employed testing the DNA of dog feces on the street.
* Japanese researcher teaches beluga whale to speak. Great. Meanwhile, that baby beluga at the Shedd we made such a big deal about is just floating there with a dumb look on his face. Then again, if you could talk to a beluga, what would you even talk about? Eating and swimming? It’s like every conversation with Michael Phelps.
* Stephen Colbert is getting a one-hour musical Christmas special? I’m calling in sick the next day.
* Porn is no longer the most popular thing on the internet. Really? Did all the friendless losers suddenly get real girlfriends or something? I mean, all of them except me?
* 23% of married couples sleep alone. As do 100% of Chicago’s 4:30 a.m. producers.