* This is my 100th blog post for NBC5. Sorry to those of you in the pool who expected I’d be fired within the first dozen. I thought that, too.
* Today, I think I saw the most shocking video in my six years in TV news. In India, some people throw their babies 50 feet to a crowd of people holding a bed sheet below. (See it here.) When I saw this, my jaw literally dropped. I forwarded it to Highlander Producer Carol, who audibly gasped. It takes a lot to stun a jaded journalist. Baby tossing will do it.
For the record, the people of that town say they’ve been doing this for five centuries, and the babies have never been hurt. Try it off your roof and let us know how that works out for you.
* This week has been one long blur. I chalk it up to the weather. I’ve been sleeping at least 10 hours a day. Maybe I have some sort of disease. Even if I don’t, I’ll perpetuate that myth so I can get some time off work. I probably have Lyme Disease.
* Highlander Producer Carol lost her mind today and started playing ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” through her computer speakers. Then she wanted me to dance with her. For those stunts, she loses the title of “Highlander” and is demoted to “Disco-Loving Producer Carol.”
For those keeping track, Carol loves disco, Executive Producer Wendy loves classic rock (Zeppelin, et al) and Arch-Nemesis Producer Jim hates music, joy and laughter.
* The Sun-Times asks what would happen if women ran Chicago. Ummm… I’d get rejected by hot chicks with higher salaries?
* Maybe I should change my approach with women, like asking them out by painting things on my bare rear end. Worked for these morons. I can’t believe the girl said yes.
“Tell me, Grandma, how did you and Grandpa fall in love?”
“Well, he painted something on his bare butt cheeks along with his friends…”
* Out of nowhere, Executive Producer Wendy announced, “My neighbors are getting a beagle. I’m so excited.” Suddenly, my empty social life doesn’t seem quite as unique as I think it is.
* Fat people have bigger carbon footprints… and everything else.
* We had an update on the Roscoe Village cougar this morning and Kim thought it would be funny to stand in a corner of the newsroom and do her cougar impression. It wasn’t.
My turn-ons include unavailable women out of my league and those who take advantage of my kind and caring nature.
* Speaking of the Kinsey Institute, I should warn you never, ever to rent the movie “Kinsey.” Failure to heed this warning will subject you to the sight of Peter Sarsgaard’s naked nether regions. My retinas have permanent scarring.
* Brooke White got bumped from “American Idol” last night. If Jason Castro doesn’t get dumped next, I’m jumping ship. (I stand by my David Archuleta victory prediction.)
* Scientists are working on a real version of the “Star Trek” tricorder. Until now, nerds had to use a proptricorder to repel women.
* Kate Hudson is named People Magazine’s Most Beautiful Person. Her mom, Goldie Hawn, should be named “most likely to be mistaken for a decaying corpse.” Lord, she’s hideous. The magazine lists the planet’s 100 most beautiful people. Once again, I’m left off the list. I should have figured something was up when I called them to set up my photo shoot and they never called back. But most people don’t call me back. Maybe there’s something wrong with my phone.
* CNN.com tells us the best ways to remember more. The best ways to forget? Beer. Lots and lots of beer.
* CNN.com also brings us ten things your body can do after you die. Slow news day, huh, CNN?