Science conquers love, love conquers all

* Yesterday’s call for Zoraida love letters yielded just one.  Hey, I’d write you a pep talk if you asked me.  Clearly, I have nothing better to do.

* The only story I really liked today involved a company called  For $1000, they send you a Q-Tip and you swab it on the inside of your mouth.  Then they analyze your DNA and send you a list of people who are genetically compatible with you, romance-wise.

 This would seem dubious, but if a wealthy benefactor would like to spot me a grand, I’ll give it a whirl.  Given my track record, I’m sure it would tell me I’m genetically compatible with Harriet Beecher Stowe and Rosie O’Donnell.  (Shudder.)

* Zoraida declared the above story “lame” after it aired.  You can stand down on the campaign to boost her self-esteem.

 * Today, Executive Producer Wendy engaged in a lengthy discussion about lawn care.  Her social life is nearly as fascinating as mine.

* Man vs. Monkey update: Lonely Americans are buying monkeys and treating them like children, piercing their ears, pushing them in strollers and giving them their own bedrooms.  Where have you gone, Charlton Heston?  A lonely nation turns its eyes to you.

* Chicago playwright and Steppenwolf Actor Tracy Letts won a Pulitzer.  I was passed over.  Again.   Tracy frequently sits in with TJ Jagodowski and David Pasquesi in the best show in Chicago.  Buy your tickets a day in advance since it sells out every week.  Thank me later.

* Arch Nemesis Producer Jim went out on a limb today, predicting a Cubs/White Sox World Series this year.  If that happens, I predict my resignation two weeks before the first game.  That would be a news tsunami unlike any Chicago has ever seen.  And that would mean actual work, which I didn’t sign on for.

* The British throw away a third of all the food they buy.  You think that’s bad, just think about what becomes of the two-thirds they eat.

* Executive Producer Wendy asked aloud, “What are they gonna do with those 400 kids in Texas?

My reply: “It’s Texas.  Rodeo!”

Clearly, I have no shame.  Perhaps, were Miss Beecher Stowe not rotting in a hole somewhere, she could set me on the right path.

One response to “Science conquers love, love conquers all

  1. Perhaps if everyone had understood the story about the DNA compatability, it would have garnered an “interesting” rather than a “lame.”
    The scientist said it at least twice…the compatability was about finding a male with immunities to different diseases than the female. A very Darwinian concept not unknown in the animal world. All his service does is give you a list of potential mates who can give your offspring a greater variety of immunities to diseases from which to choose. “Kismet” still has to happen the old fashioned way. He’s just charging a fee for what very well happens naturally.
    Benny, maybe you have no immunities at all! Explains you lack of…practice breeding.


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