Science conquers love, love conquers all

* Yesterday’s call for Zoraida love letters yielded just one.  Hey, I’d write you a pep talk if you asked me.  Clearly, I have nothing better to do.

* The only story I really liked today involved a company called ScientificMatch.com.  For $1000, they send you a Q-Tip and you swab it on the inside of your mouth.  Then they analyze your DNA and send you a list of people who are genetically compatible with you, romance-wise.

 This would seem dubious, but if a wealthy benefactor would like to spot me a grand, I’ll give it a whirl.  Given my track record, I’m sure it would tell me I’m genetically compatible with Harriet Beecher Stowe and Rosie O’Donnell.  (Shudder.)

* Zoraida declared the above story “lame” after it aired.  You can stand down on the campaign to boost her self-esteem.

 * Today, Executive Producer Wendy engaged in a lengthy discussion about lawn care.  Her social life is nearly as fascinating as mine.

* Man vs. Monkey update: Lonely Americans are buying monkeys and treating them like children, piercing their ears, pushing them in strollers and giving them their own bedrooms.  Where have you gone, Charlton Heston?  A lonely nation turns its eyes to you.

* Chicago playwright and Steppenwolf Actor Tracy Letts won a Pulitzer.  I was passed over.  Again.   Tracy frequently sits in with TJ Jagodowski and David Pasquesi in the best show in Chicago.  Buy your tickets a day in advance since it sells out every week.  Thank me later.

* Arch Nemesis Producer Jim went out on a limb today, predicting a Cubs/White Sox World Series this year.  If that happens, I predict my resignation two weeks before the first game.  That would be a news tsunami unlike any Chicago has ever seen.  And that would mean actual work, which I didn’t sign on for.

* The British throw away a third of all the food they buy.  You think that’s bad, just think about what becomes of the two-thirds they eat.

* Executive Producer Wendy asked aloud, “What are they gonna do with those 400 kids in Texas?

My reply: “It’s Texas.  Rodeo!”

Clearly, I have no shame.  Perhaps, were Miss Beecher Stowe not rotting in a hole somewhere, she could set me on the right path.

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One response to “Science conquers love, love conquers all

  1. Perhaps if everyone had understood the story about the DNA compatability, it would have garnered an “interesting” rather than a “lame.”
    The scientist said it at least twice…the compatability was about finding a male with immunities to different diseases than the female. A very Darwinian concept not unknown in the animal world. All his service does is give you a list of potential mates who can give your offspring a greater variety of immunities to diseases from which to choose. “Kismet” still has to happen the old fashioned way. He’s just charging a fee for what very well happens naturally.
    Benny, maybe you have no immunities at all! Explains you lack of…practice breeding.

    BikeBoy5

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