* Australian man gets heart broken, puts entire life on the auction block. Why didn’t I think of that? Bidding on my entire life, including a ridiculously expensive one-bedroom apartment, no romantic prospects and a career working as a journalist in the middle of the night starts at five bucks. Any bidders? Just five bucks. Okay, four. Four bucks. No one? Okay, I’ll pay you five bucks to take over my life. Remember, my life comes with this blog and all the power and prestige that comes with it. A whole three people read this thing.
* How would you describe Hillary Clinton’s fashion sense? If you said “sexless” and “lumpen,” you’d be right.
* I love this headline: “Households face the unthinkable: budgeting.” Yes, spending a few moments to make sure you’re not hemorrhaging cash is “unthinkable” in this country. We’re doomed, aren’t we?
* New York’s new governor comes with a built-in scandal. I think at this point, it’s safe to assume all politicians, regardless of party affiliation, have smoked weed, cheated on their spouses and probably murdered a guy or two.
* ABBA’s drummer is dead. One down, three to go.
* What happens when people turn off the TV for three weeks? They turn to their spouses, newspapers and religion. And for those of us who have none of those things, we collapse into a useless heap. Thank you, TV, for giving me a reason to live.
* Last night, I became so bored, I actually watched a little “Dancing With the Stars.” I don’t know what was more pathetic – that show or me watching that show.
* Sunday’s “60 Minutes” had a fascinating story about the importance of sleep. (Watch it here.) Scientists are learning sleep is just as important as exercise and eating healthy. Good to know for those of us on the night shift, who are so exhausted, we have to write “right” and “left” on our shoes to remember which one goes where. And then we need to refer to a chart with a picture of “right” and “left,” because the words look blurry through sleep-deprived eyes.