Dispatches from the Control Room – March 11


* New York Governor Eliot Spitzer likes the ladies. The hooker ladies, that is.

This was all anyone was talking about in the newsroom this morning. The women wanted to know why he did it. This article claims to shed light on powerful men who stray.

The guys in the newsroom, predictably, didn’t ask why he did it. We know. And looking at the pictures from the escort service website, you get an even better idea why he did it. Those ladies are smokin’. Sure, they may be diseased, but they don’t look diseased from the pictures.

Executive Producer Wendy asked what you get for a $5,000 bill. I might think you’d get fewer diseases. Maybe a souvenir T-shirt.

* In other romantic news, here’s a story about an 800-pound Mexican man who had a giant flatbed truck drive him off to a date, only to get stuck under a bridge.

It’s official: an 800-pound man has lined up more dates than me this year. Wonder if Eliot Spitzer can recommend a nice girl. I’ve got $5,000.

* A total of 73 percent of money recently raised by Governor Blagojevich came from those doing business with the state, lobbying the state or facing state regulation. Welcome to Illinois. Please leave your morals at the border.

* If Chicago was the site of a pandemic outbreak, here’s what would happen: widespread school closings, quarantines of infected households and bans on public gatherings. Schools and day-care centers would close. Theaters, bars, restaurants and ball parks would be shuttered. Offices and factories would be open but hobbled as workers stay home to care for children. Infected people and their friends and families would be confined to their homes.

Sadly, none of those measures would impact my social life in the least. Bring on the disease!

* The Vatican has released a list of new sins. Tops on the list? Staying home instead of coming to the next Whiskey Rebellion show featuring yours truly. Mark your calendars now for March 20 at 8 p.m. Two hours of entertainment for just $12. More info here. Don’t sin. Just come.

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4 responses to “Dispatches from the Control Room – March 11

  1. lazynbc5junkie

    Studio 5 pics…..

  2. Quick! Rent a truck and get to Mexico pronto! There’s a girl waiting for a date to show up. Don’t blow it!!!!

  3. lazynbc5junkie

    Hahaha…for once my comment showed up firsT!! w00t….what happened to jakki….do we need to send a search party?

  4. lazynbc5junkie: thank you for worrying about me. I was not feeling well (must have caught what Ben had – LOL) and so I didn’t read the blog until tonight.

    Maybe we should do a comment crew outing to see Ben at the Improv Theatre!

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