Dispatches from the Control Room – February 12

* Just two days until Valentine’s Day, people. I can’t wait to see what you got me? (What’s that? You got me nothing? Awesome! Just what I wanted.)

* Today I’m going to go home after my shift, sleep, then roll back here at 2 p.m. to rock out with my top secret editing project. If you TiVo the 4:30 or 6 a.m. news Wednesday and Thursday, you’ll see it. And you will be mildly amused.

* Flirty women are seducing and robbing business travelers in Dallas. I hope to be victimized this weekend.

* White people will be minorities by 2050. In other news, I just became a huge proponent of Affirmative Action.

* I’m starting to go a little nuts with this slow news cycle. We’ve led our newscasts with weather for roughly the last 40 days and 40 nights. I’m getting antsy and I want to punch somebody. Is there some evil weather shaman who’s cursed us with this never-ending hell? Can I punch that guy? Is there any blog reader willing to step up and take one for the team? I have dainty girl hands, so there’s no way my punch will hurt. But I’ve gotta punch something. Seriously.

* Today we ran a story about a principal that kissed a goat to make good on a bet she made with her students. She said the goat’s “lips go on forever.”

So do mine, ladies. So do mine.

(Did I just intone that I kiss like a goat? I think I did.)

* We also had a story about a couple that poses for pictures while wearing Stormtrooper helmets. Nerd love is a powerful love.

* Hillary doesn’t want to release her income tax returns. Gee. I wonder why. To counter, she whipped out the old Rezko jab. But the name Rezko means nothing to anyone outside Illinois, where Obama racked up 64% in the primary. And besides, Rezko donated money to Clinton’s campaign co-chair. Get a new comeback, Hillary. At least say Obama’s ears stick out or something. I’d even give you points for the “I’m rubber, you’re glue” defense.

*Tomorrow night is the big farewell party for NBC5 square peg Bruce Wolf. If you look at his Wikipedia entry, it says, “Wolf is known for his unique brand of humor while reporting stories [citation needed].”

Citation needed? Sorry, Bruce. Your unique brand of humor needs to be corroborated by a more reliable source before Wikipedia will acknowledge it.

I will go to this party and reminisce about how one year ago, we were pretty pleased with ourselves about “Barely Today.” A year from now, I’m sure I’ll be in the same position, with everyone remembering what a great blog this was before my manifesto got the attention of the Secret Service. (Cut and paste into a Word document before they pull the plug on me.)

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One response to “Dispatches from the Control Room – February 12

  1. Asking the blog readers to “take a punch for the team” is no way to keep them reading. LOL

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