Dispatches from the Control Room – February 8

* Sorry for the lack of bloggage yesterday, sports fans. I have a special project I’m working on for next week and I was here super-late. Tune in Wednesday and Thursday to get a taste.

* Today we ran a story about crazed Hindu activists burning Valentine’s cards in India to protest the holiday. In our script, I suggested that’s nothing compared to how some of our heartbroken viewers would spend Valentine’s Day. And then Dick has to go into the script and add, “Is our beleaguered producer, Ben Bowman among them?”

Lovely.

And then Zoraida starts ad libbing, “He probably wrote that because he’s spending Valentine’s Day alone. That’s right, Bowman! We’re calling you out!”

Awesome.

Did my mom pay them to say this?

* Forbes says Chicago is the 23rd best city for couples. That’s 23 out of 40. Supposedly, we’re #5 for singles. So maybe I’m better off roaming the city as a lone wolf. Thank you, Forbes, for averting my Valentine’s Day date with a clock tower and a high-powered rifle.

* Staying with the romance theme, people who sleep with their cousins end up with more children. In other news, ew.

* A drunk guy threatens to blow up Brisbane, Australia with his TV remote. It’s things like this that make holidays with my Uncle Steve a little awkward.

* Best line of the day award goes to Writer Theresa. When we were told a truckload of whipped cream had spilled on the highway, she suggested IDOT was en route with a dumptruck full of maraschino cherries to remedy the situation.

* Serbia’s hospitals have banned gossiping. Why is this necessary? It’s rare that you walk through a hospital and hear, “Oooo, did you hear Dr. O’Neal gave that new burn patient 20 cc’s of hot lovin’?”

* Spending hours on a cell phone each day may affect the quality of a man’s sperm. Really, if that’s the case, you are using your phone completely wrong.

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2 responses to “Dispatches from the Control Room – February 8

  1. Any hints as to what the “special project” is and do we need to tune into the 4:30 news to see it? If it’s something good I guess I could get up extra early. LOL

    Don’t be too hard on Dick and Zoraida – they’re probably just trying to help you find a date for Valentine’s Day.

    If we’re the #5 city for singles – where are all of them? Maybe Dr. Laura Berman can answer that question! Otherwise, I may be joining the Hindu activits in burning Valentine’s cards to protest the holiday. LOL

  2. Dr. O’Neal must be quite a man. Remember for what the band “10c.c.s” was named.
    You should be able to get a date for Valentine’s Day…even John Wayne Gacy was able to dig one up.

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