Dispatches from the Control Room – February 6


* The Storm of the Century never really materialized this morning. But I’m told it’s still coming. Only minor havoc was visited upon my show. Thank you, Super Tuesday, for giving me something to write about other than a natural phenomenon.

* Clinton and Obama virtually tied. Ho hum.

* McCain appears to be taking Romney to the woodshed. Wasn’t it just a couple months ago that McCain’s campaign was bankrupt? Nice turn-around, Johnny.

* Some ghost in the machine caused my show to lose all its graphics for a while. And then our tapes refused to play for a bit. That was fun. Tune in tomorrow to see if chaos continues.

* This Britney Spears story keeps getting weirder and weirder. I enjoy seeing the term “Svengali” in a news story. I will attempt to use it once a day in my scripts. “The winter has a Svengali-like hold on Chicago.” “Senator Clinton has a Svengali-like hold on her rack of pantsuits.” “Andy is our weather Svengali.”

Turning to Wikipedia (Research tool for lazy journalists everywhere), I learn that Svengali is a fictional evil hypnotist from an 1894 novel. And so, I resolve to become a Svengali in my own right. Who wouldn’t want to be an evil hypnotist?

I think Britney’s just attracted to really dirty guys with ulterior motives.

* For sale or trade: Giant old beater. High mileage. $17 million OBO.

* Scientists create an embryo from DNA of three people. What could possibly go wrong?

* If you hate your spouse now, you’ll hate him/her even more in the future. Good to know. I hate your spouse a ton.

* Today, I’m supposed to team up with Dr. Laura to roam around and ask random people sex and relationship questions. I sincerely hope the winter storm causes our location to freeze and crumble. That’s probably the only way I’m getting out of this.

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2 responses to “Dispatches from the Control Room – February 6

  1. Svengali? Svengooli! Chicago up, Fudgie!
    I peg you as a Sgt.Sakto guy…perhaps Poopdeck Paul.

  2. lazynbc5junkie

    Where is the blog today? I’m scared!

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