Dispatches from the Control Room – February 5

* Got to experience the fun of fog first-hand last night. Four friends of mine were flying into O’Hare after a weekend jaunt to Miami. Their flight back to our hometown out of O’Hare was cancelled. All the rental cars were gone. So I did the only thing a true friend would do: I drove to the airport and let them drive my car back to Michigan. I deserve a medal or something. (At least a pizza delivered to the newsroom.)

* The new Bush budget includes a prize, much like a box of Cracker Jack. That prize? A deficit of $410 billion this year and $407 billion in 2009. (To be fair, the Cracker Jack prizes always sucked, too.)

* Republican Rep. John Read of Georgia wants to ban restaurants from serving food to obese customers. Way to fight the good fight, Representative Read. Next up: legislated public stonings of people who loved that Gatorade dog ad.

* This file photo of an obese woman reminds me of a long-held ambition: To become so fat that my gut ends up used in some b-roll at a TV station somewhere. Can you imagine if you recognized your gut on TV? That’s what we in the biz would dub “a wake-up call.”

* That lady has nothing on this kid, who haunts me every time I even consider getting McDonald’s…

* You know what needs to be infinitely more dangerous? Refueling your car. A robot that sprays gasoline! What could possibly go wrong?

* About one-third of hit songs (including three-quarters of rap songs) have some form of explicit reference to drug, alcohol or tobacco use. Funny. I expect one out of three people is consistently high, drunk or cancer-ridden.

* Americans are spending less time outside. And that’s why we’re alive while the polar bears are drowning. Just go home, polar bears! Quit screwing around in nature.

* Super Tuesday is the kind of day I’m glad I work in the morning. Tonight is going to be a special kind of producer hell: a million live shots, wacky graphics and animations, a dozen guests and limited time.

One of those guests tonight is the venerable Walter Jacobson. I worked with Walter for about a year. Quite the character. Nothing beat hearing him rail against us leading a newscast with an overturned car on the Dan Ryan. I wish I had a button that could summon him like a genie to chastise our coverage of every car wreck and fire in a 30-mile radius.

* Matt Rodewald informs me his sister is married. I respectfully tip my cap and shovel a handful of M&M’s in my face.

5 responses to “Dispatches from the Control Room – February 5

  1. jakki scares me! lol

  2. You dodge Super Tuesday but have Snow Disaster, 2008 (roll ominous theme music).

    As for your good deed for your Michigander buds…get off the cross, we need the wood. Just do the good deed, and send them the bill for the pizza. What’s important, the eating or getting the gift/payoff/bribe?

    Besides, if they’re like alot of Wolverines from around Detroit, they’ll trash your car, burn it, then report it stolen. At least that’s what Ringo would do.

  3. Since all the comments have now been posted I was hoping for an apology since you thought no one was concerned about the potential of your death. Guess I won’t care the next time. LOL

  4. lazynbc5junkie

    Yeah. Have fun with the snow later on this morning. It will hit right bout when your anchors are walking over to studio 5 so we will have Snowman Dick and Snowwoman Zorida doing the news….well that is if the snow does show up…hahaha!

  5. Anonymous: I assure you I’m harmless – nothing to be scared of. LOL

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