Dispatches from the Control Room – December 4

* Exactly one week ago, I came down with a wicked fever. Now I’m losing my voice. What’s happening to me? I need Lisa Parker and the Target 5 team to break this down into easily digestible chunks of information.

* A fellow employee came up to me today, asking if I was still writing this blog. I told him I was. He told me he had no idea how to find it. And if no one who works here can find it, I’m pretty sure I’m just typing this to myself. In that case, don’t forget to buy bread when you go to the store today, self.

* Today is an action-packed day. In addition to my regular shift (which I LOVE), I get to come back around 11 a.m. to run rehearsals on our new technical system. Normally, I’m asleep by 6 a.m., so coming in at 11 would be like you normal people getting up in time to watch my show at 4:30 a.m. Laughable, I know.

* In addition to my rehearsal, I’ve got an improv show tonight. Get thee to the i.O. Theater tonight at 10:30. Tickets will be $1-6, depending on the roll of a dice. (Roll of a die? Roll of one dice? How do you say that?) Anyway, the theater is at 3541 N. Clark St. That’s right off the Addison red line stop. Come hear my voice splinter into useless mumbles.

* I love how Hillary Clinton is cracking on Barack Obama for his “lack of experience.” She’s been a senator since wayyyy back in 2001. Before that, she threw White House tea parties and failed to overhaul the health care system. Hell, I also failed to overhaul the health care system in 1994 and I was just a junior in high school.

* We had a story today about a chair in Italy where infertile women go to sit. Supposedly, they’re more likely to conceive shortly thereafter. It’s not so much a “chair,” so much as an old blanket with a hole thrown over Kevin Federline.

GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY! (Walks off to stunned silence and assorted gasps.)

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